These cold, dismal drives of acceptance

This feeling of driving home from the doctor's after getting bad news is becoming frighteningly familiar. This quiet, this nothing to say. The cold feeling of emptiness that sort of spreads out from the inside.

I do remember life as a mother before I had felt that way. When I took the girls to the doctor, worried about something horrible and left feeling reassured. Told that it was nothing, that everything was fine. It's hard to capture, but I can remember that feeling. Joy, relief, warmth. The opposite of these cold dismal drives of acceptance.

The smart guy was so nice, so good with max. He made sure to talk directly to him and compliment our family. But he also said that the right eye's fundamentally abnormal. Apparently, Max did not form a macula in his right eye. That's the specialized spot in your eye that allows you to see clearly. The cataract is simply a bulge in the posterior lens, nothing to remove since theres no macula to see with. He thinks his vision is 20/200 in the right eye. His left eye is still perfect.He told us to patch an hour a day at most & protect the heck out of the left eye.

I have a headache.